4 January 2011

Resolution or Obligation?

Ok, this is not me trying to ridicule the resolution process...  Rather, i just wish to shake things up a bit and use this time to change, if not already done, our perception of this holiday great which tends to create havoc in our lives at every first of the year...

"I will: stop smoking (again), do more exercise (will go to the gym this time!), lose weight (and therefore stop binging to compensate for my emotions)..."  Those are the classics; there are, of course, as many as there are humans since the combination of the many resolutions is what makes each of us special and different in this process...

Have you noticed that, in the word "resolution", there are the words
     - "re" provided by latin and used to express "repetition"
     - "solution" which we all know means solving a puzzle

What puzzle then, may i ask, are we trying to solve?  What conundrum, or more likely, situation, do we wish to improve?  Could it be that, in the end, we simply wish to live better, simpler and maybe even happyer (yes with a "y") lives?  And isn't a solution supposed to be applied once and yield its results?  And if it doesn't, shouldn't we move on to another solution?  We often hear in change management :  if you do the same thing to resolve the same situation, you would be a fool to hope for different results...  And yet, isn't that what we are doing year after year? Hence the "re" before the "solution"...

We all know the process of resolution making - we make them, promise ourselves we'll keep them, go through many organisational skills to implement them and in time, slowly but surely, abandon them only to feel disappointed in our selves, once again...

To me, resolutions, more often than not, are synonymous with "OBLIGATION" - it even rhymes!  - And, let's be honest, our lives are already filled with them, tons of them...  And then, of our own accord, we impose new obligations, disguised as hyped up, super motivated to accomplish, resolutions...  And it just don't work...

To all of us over achievers, here is my counter-proposal get yourselves a sheet of paper or a notebook/journal.  Take the time to write all the things you love to do, wish you could do, would like to do in the future, be it near or far...  Read, take a bath, watch a movie cosied up in your bed/couch, do a pottery/dance/paint class, take a hike (literally!), play video games, take pictures, wall climbing, biking, writing, cooking, gardening, take a trip to a land far far away or even super close!  Whatever makes you feel the thrill of pure joy, a time for yourself, this is what you need to do...  Some of you may realise you don't know what that is...  Well then, the time has come for you to experiment and find what makes you tick!

Once the list is done, review, add to it and, most importantly, do!!!  Every week, you need to live, at the very least, one of those listed.  And note:  15 minutes in a bath/reading/writing ain't that long!!!  but it will make a  world of difference on how you perceive life...  Happy discovery!

The thing is, we are plagued by so  many obligations that, when we impose a new one, we kinda resent it...  When was the last time you actually took some time for yourself...  One step further:  how often do you ask yourself if the set obligation is really necessary...  You will find that often times, you are self-imposing tasks that aren't even warranted or that can be done at a later time. 

Start prioritising doing things you want to do, things that will provide you with fun and peacefulness, serenity...  Activities that will allow you to feel whole again.  Once you get that going, exercising, stoppin' the smokin' or the bingin', will come naturally; no longer will it feel like the war within...  Goals are important, don't get me wrong.  It is the way we strive to achieve them that is at best, and most often, chaotic...  We will never say this enough - like in planes loosing pressure, we ask that you apply your own oxygen mask before applying it to those you are caring for; there is a reason for that - you must stay conscious if you are to help others...  Life is the same; take care of yourself first... and to really do that, you need to find your passions...  and live them...

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